Discipline

Most people are not a fan of discipline, There is something about the word itself that just screams, ‘hard work’. We associate it with rigid rules, going without, restriction, effort and being punished. It brings with it memories of diets and strict exercise routines not properly adhered to and all those failed new years resolutions that were originally created with such idealistic punch-drunk enthusiasm. Yet, without discipline (self-discipline specifically) it is difficult to be productive, content and ultimately successful in life.

Just as children need discipline in the form of clear boundaries, in order to feel loved and safe in their environment and relationships, so do we adults need self-discipline in order to feel in control of our lives. It helps us prioritise, practise commitment and feel a sense of progress and satisfaction with our daily tasks and life as a whole. I am all for ‘going with the flow’ and ‘living in the moment’ but without a certain amount of structure and planning, we are simply swimming in circles.

A while ago I wrote a post where I mentioned the important distinction between having and making more time in your life. This has been a challenge for me the last couple of weeks as my youngest daughter’s sleeping has been seriously disturbed and I have been exhausted as a result. I literally do not have time for myself each day. Not until my eldest is in bed and supper is over, do I have an hour or two to myself. I am usually too tired to do anything constructive then and end up either watching TV or going to bed. The feeling of the many incomplete tasks, potential courses and podcasts, emails and blog posts that I have in my head but have yet to write or complete become a source of frustration for me and a real monkey on my back. This ends up interfering with me living in the moment with my kids and just enjoying playing and being with them in the way I am accustomed to and feel they deserve. So, I discovered that in order to create more time, I in effect needed to get up earlier – about a hour or two before my children do. This basically means I sleep less. The sleeping less part is not great, but usually possible as long as my kids sleep as they should and I go to bed early enough to get a good 6 hours. Even with enough sleep though, waking up earlier when it is cold and dark requires a tremendous amount of willpower and self-discipline (hence the title for this post).  For the last 3 weeks, I simply have not been able to summon any up.

This morning I was up at 4.30 with Nina and then lay in bed for an hour before deciding to get up and catch up on some bits and pieces. So, for today it worked and I am already feeling the better for it. In an ideal world I would have done a few sun salutations and meditated by now, but I have to take this one baby step at a time!

How to make discipline work for you:
1) Identify the areas in your life that require change and most likely more discipline.

2) In order to create that positive change, go about setting a plan of action and a few practical and realistic, well defined rules to abide by in order to attain your goal.

3) Write these down somewhere – in a journal, workbook etc preferably not in a word document on your computer or on your blackberry. I am talking, real world pen and paper here, people.

4) Now simplify those steps some more and write them down on a post-it note. Place that someplace you will see it during the day!

5) Take it slowly and in terms of feeling productive, aim at completing at least one task (even if it is just making a phone call, catching up on emails or having one healthy meal, if diet is your goal) a day.

Lastly, don’t be too harsh with yourself, it takes discipline to be disciplined! If today has not gone according to plan, remember tomorrow is another day

Ps: Although it requires self-discipline in itself to take the time to sit and meditate, practising meditation can amongst other things, fine-tune your mind and help improve concentration, focus, memory and help improve self-discipline in your life. A wonderful, basic Yoga technique is called Tratak. It is a simple, well-known meditation practice that involves focusuing on a candle flame. Here’s how you do it:

Tratak Meditation

In becoming aware of ourselves and the world around us, mediation can be a key to understanding. Often, we are controlled by our habits: it is easy to worry, to let the mind wander or become irritated. Developing a clear, undistracted state of mind is as simple as breathing in and out. Tratak, or steady gazing is an excellent concentration exercise, as well as a purification technique, when done with a candle or ghee lamp. A candle flame is the most widely used object for tratak, as it easy to hold an after-image of the bright flame when you close your eyes. You should place the candle at eye level in a darkened, draught-free room. It involves alternately gazing at the flame without blinking, then closing your eyes and visualising the object in your mind’s eye. The practice steadies the wandering mind and concentrates the attention, leading you to focus with pinpoint accuracy. It helps improve concentration, eyesight and is often performed before silent meditation. (Gazing at a ghee lamp is softer on the eyes and said to have healing properties.)

1) Sit, comfortably but straight, in a position neither too rigid nor relaxed.

2) Place the candle (white is best) at eye level, arms length away from you.

3) First regulate your breathing, just breathing in and out, very deeply, a few times. Remember to breathe naturally and don’t try to control the breath.

4) Now, calm and focused, you are ready to begin the meditation. Start to gaze at the flame of your candle without blinking for 1 – 3 minutes.

5) Don’t stare or gaze vacantly – just look steadily without straining the eyes. Your eyes will water, cleansing the eyes and tear ducts.

6) Now close your eyes, and keep your inner gaze steady, picturing the object / flame at the point between the eyebrows.

7) Your mind may begin to wander. There are many distractions, both within ourselves and in our environments. Sounds, emotions, and sensations can all capture our thoughts. When this occurs, return to your image of the flame.

When the after-image vanishes, open your eyes and repeat. Each time you become distracted, bring your attention back to your point of focus and allow your eyes to rest, motionless. This will encourage your mind to rest as well.

Softening your gaze, you stare continuously at the object and in this way, you use the object as a point of focus for the mind. As you progress, you can take moments where you close your eyes and try and retain the image of the object in your mind’s eye for longer. If the object fades, you simply open your eyes again and continue starring at it. Aim for 5-8 minutes at first, and slowly build up from there.

Try it and let me know if it works for you.

xx

To win a wall tattoo for your child’s bedroom or nursery, answer the following questions:

1)   - How many kids wall tattoos are listed on the My Wall Tattoos website?

2)   - Create a rhyme of at least 4 lines, as to why you would like a wall tattoo for your child’s bedroom OR, if you are not feeling very poetic, just give a good reason as to why you want a wall tattoo.

3)    - Which tattoos would be your first and second choice?

Email your answers to caroline@rhymesandreasons.co.za for a chance to win!

Competition ends 31^st July 2010

Good Luck!

While, we wait to see if they really will ban the noisy plastic horn that we love so much, here is a look at an eco-friendly version:

http://www.treehugger.com/files/2010/06/vuvuzelas-can-be-eco-friendly.php

I found this postcard on this week’s Post Secret blog and liked it:

My mom bought Amy this little plastic egg set called ‘Run Egg’ for Easter, put it in her cupboard but then forgot about it. We were looking in her cupboards for something this past week and found it, so Amy had great fun painting the eggs, while my mom and I had a good laugh reading the Chinese-English packaging. Take a look…

On the front it says, “ Choose meticulously serious toy that oneself begin!!”

On the back it proudly states, “Beautiful and new vogue!” Indeed!

PLEASE remove word verification from your comment settings!!! It often causes problems making commenting impossible. If you don’t get as many comments as you’d like, I promise this is why! They just don’t make it through.

One duck in the tree is worth many in the pond…or at least makes an amusing photo…

Koos was walking through his veld one day when he spots someone drinking water from a pool.

He shouts, “Moenie die water drink nie, dis vol skaap k*k”.

The other guy says, “I’m from England, mate, speak English!”

Koos replies, “Use both hands, you get more that way”.

I want to write a long post but am really tired, as I have had a hectic weekend, very little sleep and no free time. Having said that though it was all very good. We enjoyed Adam’s party on Saturday morning and Amy really loved the jumping castle. True to toddler form she threw a tantrum about having to go and no be able to jump for longer. In the evening we celebrated my dad’s 60^th birthday with a Mediterranean theme at my parent’s house. The evening went well and I really hope my dad enjoyed it all. My mom worked really hard and produced superb food as usual. I made a chocolate pudding and Craig and I did the décor (well, mainly Craig but I did the ‘flowers’ which consisted of bunches of Greek Basil loosely arranged in various jugs) Amy helped with the arrangements which was really cute. She really understood that it was her grampa’s birthday party and although  I had been dreading the evening from a kiddie point of view (my children don’t sleep out) it all worked out well. Nina did go to sleep upstairs in the camp-cot and slept the whole night until we had to leave and Amy was a little star and kept going all night. She sat and listened to the speeches, danced to the music and played with the balloons. She was a pleasure and so good that we ended up leaving at 11.40pm, much later than I had imagined. The down side was that all that stimulation meant she was up quite a few times during the night and up by 7am (while Nina slept through till 8.30am- Murphy’s law!) Today both Amy and Nina have been ill, with Amy running a temperature, which had me worried. She seems ok but I am keeping my eye on her. Craig has been very ill with flu and spent the day in bed. So, I have a sick house. Somehow I manage to just keep going, perhaps that is simply because as a mother you have no choice! Tonight it has just taken 3 hours to get Nina to go to sleep, so my intentions of writing some interesting thought provoking post has gone out the window. Instead I will leave you with two pics from the night.