I am turning into a Monster.

Well, not exactly. That is a gross exaggeration expressed purely for effect but lately strange and horrible things are happening to my body.

Firstly, I am still ill. It has been just over a week now and my body is battling to get over this darn Flu. The fever has gone but I still feel like I have razor blades in my throat, have a foggy feeling in my head, have now developed a bad cough and am in the process of losing my voice. If I don’t answer my phone – this is why.
Of course apart from being pregnant and unable to take anything to feel better, there is nothing unusual about the flu, so let me try and explain…
Picture this:
It is the early hours of the morning and I am trying to sleep. On my side. I move from one side to the other, trying to get comfortable. I sweat. I cough. I splatter. I turn over. I turn back. I get a pregnancy-related cramp in my calf (OOOOOOWWWWW). I have a coughing fit. I start falling asleep. I need the toilet, so wake up and go. I return to bed after another coughing fit. I start falling asleep again, only to be woken this time by my alarmed husband as I have been making weird animal-like moaning sounds in my sleep (WTF???). I try and sleep again. I give up and lie awake making Christmas lists in my head until Amy wakes at 6am. Later I look in the mirror and find an odd burn like scratch on my cheek. It looks like someone slapped me hard (perhaps Craig thought he was being attacked by an animal, after above-mentioned sounds) or as if I had a romantic moment with my GHD hair iron (???)

Yip, I feel like a monster. At the very least, a stranger to myself and my poor husband seems just as bewildered as I.

I have no idea what the mark was (pigmentation/insect bite/rash?), but at least it is now fading. As for these perturbing moaning sounds, they alarmingly continue to occur the minute I fall asleep. They are not linked to nightmares as I haven’t been having any, so I am not sure what is causing it (stress/pregnancy/being ill?) or how to stop it. I have never been one to talk in my sleep or even snore, so this odd behaviour is distressing me, especially as it is out of my control!

Please download my PDF version of this post, from the freebie section

My 27 week newsletter says the following:
“Your baby is about the size of a kitten now and covered in thin, shiny skin. Her finger and toe prints have formed and she communicates with you by kicking and wriggling.
You might be experiencing lower back pain at this point, as your centre of gravity has changed due to pregnancy.”

The rest of the newsletter involved adverts for nappies and a course on Alexander Technique (to ease the back pain)… how enlightening.

Due to yoga and knowing what exercises to focus on, I don’t have back pain, thank god. I do however still have the annoying thigh pain that now involves both legs and causes me to wake up each morning in agony. Even if I am exhausted (which I am) I can’t sleep in, as my body won’t allow it. Very frustrating, but something I am just learning to live with as there seems no way around it. Other than that though I must say I don’t have any other negative symptoms (touch wood). I do feel emotional and more irritable than normal, but overall I am feeling healthy and good. i can’t believe I am at the end of the second trimester! It took some time, but I think I have finally “grown” into my pregnant self and am feeling more comfortable in my skin. I am more at ease with my pregnant shape and the way my body feels. I adore feeling my baby move, even though she is going through a lazy phase again, which always worries me. She also is particularly inactive whenever someone else (including her father) wants to feel her kick, causing immense frustration on their part. I go for my free 3D scan at Panorama on Wednesday, which although I originally didn’t want to have, I am looking forward to.

Ps: Have had a really hectic weekend, which once I catch up on things, I will tell you about in another post. xxx

We went for our detailed scan on Wednesday. It is done by another doctor, with highly specialized equipment (which is why it is so damn expensive!) and they are able to check in detail for any abnormalities. At every juncture during pregnancy, you realize that you aren’t out of the woods yet and that there are still so many things that can go wrong. I do try though and see each week that passes as a positive sign. This baby is a fighter and here to stay. She really wants to be born….that is what I believe anyway. As scary as these scans can be, they are also amazing to see and I love the opportunity of looking at my baby. This time, we got to see not just the ultrasound, but a 3D image of our baby as well. You can also see the blood flowing to and from her heart and my body to hers (It gets highlighted in different colours – very fancy). The doctor checked all the baby’s organs and also eliminated Downs completely. Our baby is now 788grams (growing at about 100grams per week) and everything in her development is normal and as it should be. The doctor showed us various graphs, showing how her development is within the average range. It appears her head isn’t that big afterall! (And the same goes for her nose by the way…). Her estimated birth weight at term will be around 3.4kgs. The only horrible part of the scan involved the good Dr.Steyn literally pounding my belly with the ultrasound device, in order to our baby to move into a more photogenic position. She was lying with her head pressed against the placenta, and the doctor wanted a look at her whole face. Well, she (the doctor) pounded me on about 5 different occasions and it was really sore! You could also see the poor baby, clearly irritated by now I am sure, getting jiggled around in there. Craig kept glancing at me, this worried look on his face that read “just tell me when you want me to slap her”. Well, eventually she gave up on trying to move our baby and seemed satisfied enough with the angle she did have. Thank god. At one point, my poor child, raised her hand to her face, in a gesture that seemed to beg the annoying activity to stop. She extended her little finger and I almost expected her to then extend her middle finger and give the bad doctor a sign from the womb!

Anyway, apart from the scan, another fascinating part of this experience, was the waiting room. The doctor’s rooms were situated next to Louis Leipold medi clinic in an old house. On entering the waiting room, I encountered a strange array of people who did not look like they were there for a pregnancy scan. One man virtually had his whole right hand bandaged and I found my mind contemplating the various horrors that might have got him into that state. I discovered the house is shared by 3 occupational therapists as well, explaining the presence of these dismembered patients. We sat down, on rather uncomfortable office-type chairs and waited. And waited and waited. That’s what I love about doctors, you are at their mercy as far as time goes. Anyway, this gave us a chance to survey the room….and what a delightful room it was. Clearly someone (and I suspect it was my doctor) was a fan of Elvis. Two large framed photographic collections adorned the walls. In each frame were about 10 black and white artistic photographic shots of the King himself. I am sure it cost a pretty penny to have done and I must admit that although they were displayed in a rather odd location, they were very tasteful. Of course, the Elvis fetish did not stop there though, and the general tone was lowered somewhat by the addition of an Elvis Calendar, Elvis poster and (my personal favourite) the Elvis clock. Just in case you started to think you had somehow traveled through a time-warp and were actually in Memphis, the other wall had an oil painting of a bokkie in the veld on it, and 3 scary looking ceramic guinea-foul graced the fireplace mantle. Aahhh yes, there was no mistaking after all that we were in fact in Bellville. On returning from the scan I shared these amusing details with my mother, and we spoke about how waiting rooms always tend to have the weirdest mix and match decor. It is as if it is a graveyard for the professional’s old, unwanted furniture. We have known a gynae’s waiting room with an odd array of antique furniture; one with postmodern prints and leather couches and of course many display the essential vase of dried flowers (gently coated with a layer of dust). Another essential part of a waiting room (apart from the rude receptionist), is the reading material. In gynae’s offices this usually comes in the form of “My Pregnancy” and “Your Baby”, with an occasional “Sarie”, “You”, and “Car” magazine thrown in for the men. Lucky is the person, who discovers a magazine printed in the last 5 years. Most magazines are out of date, dog-eared and frequently have the crossword already filled in. While waiting the standard 40 minutes for your beloved gynae, you may be lucky enough to find a worthwhile article or short story to read. That is, before discovering that it says “continued on page150”, and realizing that page 150 has been torn out, because page 151 had a deliciously tempting recipe on it that some patient could not resist pocketing!

You get the idea. I have had a hectic few weeks that just seem to be getting more intense by the day, so apologies to those of you who check this site daily and have been disappointed. I am now in the thick of it really, with my research proposal looming, an exam around the corner and new assignments for each subject arising, every time I blink. As soon as I get one done, another comes up and so I am learning that there is no such thing as staying ahead of the game with honours – you just have to keep your head above water. Apart from feeling overwhelmed and anxious at times, I really am loving it. I enjoy the stimulation, the throwing around of ideas and the challenge that studying brings with it. My baby loves it too. She wakes up on the drive through to Stellenbosch (tonight she kicked my bladder the whole way there again, lovely child), and then has a great time performing somersaults inside my belly during the lectures. She especially loves the one lecturer – family psych…perhaps she is listening for tips…?
My stomach is now sticking out rather far and there is no more concealing this pregnancy, not that I was doing that intentionally. I have noticed to my amusement how some people’s eyes dart down in complete shock as they take in my bulging belly and realize for the first time that I am pregnant. It is a sort of “where the hell did that come from?” look, that then softens to one of sympathy. One guy who never uttered a word to me the whole of last semester, is now greeting me with a big smile, as if the rule is “be nice to the pregnant woman – it is what your mom would want you to do”. I have also encountered a slight physical challenge this week. One of the lectures occurs in the main auditorium lecture hall as it is meant to be all the students (Afrikaans and English) attending that subject. Of course, the subject is research methodology; which largely involves stats, and therefore only a small percentage of students actually do attend these lectures. In this room, the chairs and desks are different to our normal room. Here they are all connected to each other, attached to the floor and in long rows. I hope you get the picture. Anyway, there is not much space in each row to maneuver through to wherever you wish to sit. The seats all lift up like in the old movie theatres, allowing you just enough space to nudge through. I like to sit in the center and what I am trying to get to, is that this week the nudging through part got a bit tricky. My belly is pretty much now touching the edge of the desks and in a few months I fear I may end up like Winnie the pooh, stuck in the hole, with a bunch of students trying to pull my out…not a pretty site I am sure. So I think I may have to soon find a way of sitting at an angle at the end of an aisle! Biggest challenge at Stellenbosch: Thesis? No…it was fitting into the seats!

Back on a baby note, we went for another scan on Monday. I am now 23 weeks pregnant and so far so good. According to my gynae I have put on 5 kilos, which she is happy with and am healthy. My blood pressure was rather low, but that is normal for me. She did make some comment about me having a small pelvis and that I better hope the baby isn’t too big…this was also linked to a discussion about limiting my sugar intake and so now I am on biscuit-watch by my whole family, not something I enjoy. Craig hovers between fearing I turn his daughter into a little porker and fear that I cut back on food and now starve the poor girl, so he is keeping quiet. My father on the other hand is playing the role of chief of the food police and keeping an eye on my sugar intake.
Other than that, she is doing well and now has hair, most of her organs, and muscle on her body. She has small feet and a prominent nose (like me!). 5 weeks ago she weighed 166grams and now she has grown to an amazing 568 grams! She is roughly 25cm, although they can no longer accurately measure her due to her legs being folded up. She moved around during the scan, demonstrating her acrobatic ability, but refused to give us a decent facial shot. Her heartbeat was 156beats per minute and I got to rather scarringly witness how lying on my back slowed her heart rate down considerably. So that was out visit, all captured in DVD.Oh and yes, you may have gathered, but for those wondering….she is still a girl.

Well I finally got myself back into the gym. Today I felt I would go truly mad unless I got a break from work and some decent exercise, so off I went to go swim at the gym. The place was like a morgue (apart from the irritating dance music that blared from the speakers, of course) and I realized the only people that come to the gym on a Sunday, are those that either don’t want to be seen, or lack a social life. Women who don’t want to be seen huffing and puffing on the treadmill in lycra tops that are too-tight, or rather skinny men struggling to bench-press 10 kilos in the weight section. This comforted me as I put on my whale outfit – yes my lovely blue costume and cap. What a sight. I prayed no-one would recognize me, as I waddled towards the pool. It was blissfully empty, so I had a choice of all lanes, and naturally I chose the one with the mettle steps and easiest escape route. Despite the crappy music and smell of chlorine it was my little piece of heaven for 20 minutes. I fantasied about doing 40 lengths of breaststroke in a smooth and graceful way, gliding through the water, but after a few aches and pains, and a less-than perfect technique, I settled for 10. My baby must have thought “what the hell is this?” as apart from yoga and a few walks, I have not been that active since falling pregnant. Even when I was active and fit, I was pretty sports specific and swimming has never been my favourite form of exercise. Never the less, it de-stressed me and I enjoyed the quiet time with myself. I also found being in the water, calming and soothing. After my lengths I did a few stretches and then just bobbed up and done for a while, before leaving. Now the challenge is to be dedicated enough to make it a regular occurrence…

Food not so glorious food….food or the lack of it featured predominantly in my blog in the first 3 months of pregnancy as I battled the nausea, food aversions and vomiting that are the hallmarks of the first trimester. I was assured that once I hit the 2nd trimester things would be different. My previously pregnant friends told me tales of craving food; being hungry all the time; planning the next meal just after you’ve eaten etc. Well, I have been waiting. Although the nausea has gone, a few food aversions still linger behind (such as seafood which I can’t have anyway; fried food; and tomato based sauces with mince or lentils in it). I have not been particularly hungry at all and have often had to force myself to eat. I also would start a meal, only to lose interest a few bites into it, which is very frustrating and unfulfilling. Anyway, today you will be pleased to note, was a hungry day. I woke up hungry. 15 minutes after breakfast I was hungry again! I have spent most of the day stuffing my face and have just come back from having had lunch with Craig at Balduccis at the Waterfront (yes I am spoilt), where I had the most amazing pasta ever created (apart from Wendy’s famous cesco pasta of course). It was linguine with sundried tomatoes, chilli, garlic, and a very light creamy sauce. I ate the whole bowl and could probably have done it all again! As I am writing this my mouth is watering….Perhaps my love of food is finally back!

On a completely different note, one thing about pregnancy that has been bugging me is my hair. Yes, I know it is very vain of me, but my hair has always been one of my strengths, something you count on to look good and carry you through a special occasion, when the rest of you looks a wreck. I know I am meant to be having luscious, glowing locks right now, but in all honesty, don’t think the advertising people for Pantene will be tracking me down in a hurry. The problem isn’t actually the quality…it is the colour! I am a natural honey-coloured blonde, hair gradually darkened by age so that I am now what one could call a boring dark ash blonde. I do lighten my hair, making me a light blonde, and although my darker roots are usually visible, the contrast is never that great and they never stay that way long enough for people to notice anyway. Now comes the pregnancy and I decided to go my first trimester without mucking around with my hair. There is apparently no conclusive evidence that hair dye can harm a fetus, but just in case I stayed away. What I never counted on was the pregnancy hormones to make my hair about 3 shades darker than normal! The contrast is huge. I started looking like I had a runway down the centre of my scalp, which has steadily grown in centimeters (your hair grows faster in pregnancy as well), and now resembles a skunk. Yes, a skunk. You should see my lovely black and white photo I had recently taken for renewed driver’s licence – everything is pale grey except for the thick dark stripe on my head. It is the only bit of contrast in the photo! I have since had it on good authority that after your 1st trimester if you opt for highlights, it is perfectly safe. So, I am now in desperate need for a colour top up or change. The only problem now is that my hairdresser is booked up until the end of the month, so skunkie will have to live on a little longer. Oh well, one good thing about pregnancy hormones is that apparently you don’t suffer from body odour…. so at least this skunk doesn’t smell!

It is Saturday night and despite my busy day I feel wide awake and in a blogging mood. (that sounds like I am swearing, but you know what I mean). I was awake to teach a private yoga class at 7.30am which gave me loads of energy and enthusiasm for the day. I then taught the 2nd day of the reiki 3 training from 10 till 5.30pm, cleaned up and had dinner. I should be exhausted, but I am not – I have had a great day! The baby has loved it as well. She has been moving a lot today and especially enjoyed the group Reiki that was done on her (as did her mommy!). Thanks guys, it was so incredible that I got goose-bumps and she kicked away. I must admit to having a little ego-driven thought while lying there, when I thought about how well I have taught you all – you are all such brilliant healers!

I am off to Langebaan tomorrow and will be there over the Easter weekend! Yay! I can’t wait. (Talking about Easter my mom bought the baby a beautiful pink fluffy rabbit this week – her first Easter gift). I have a “holiday”(they call it that but I have LOADS of work to do in that time) from varsity until the 10th. When I taught yoga and worked for myself, I couldn’t take leave until the end of the year, so this feels like a real treat. Can you believe my first semester is over? I can’t. I can’t believe it is already Easter and my mom’s birthday is just around the corner, which can only mean my birthday is not far behind! That takes us to the middle of the year and then before I know it this baby will be here. I bumped into someone the other day who asked when the baby was due and when I said “24th of August”, she looked surprised and said “Wow, that is just around the corner!” I thought, “Oh hell it is!”. So much to do, such little time…
As for my belly, it is definitely growing at a faster pace now. I have noticed as I walk around in shopping centres, how everyone’s eyes drop down to look at my belly. Oh how things have changed – It used to be that guys eyed out my breasts but now they look at my stomach! As Louise said to me, “and when you are older they will like you for your mind!” Aaahhh the various stages of womanhood…boobs, belly, brains.