A day of taking strain

I am a great juggler.  I juggle tasks, duties and aspects of life. Often I take on too much, but that is me. I have and will always be a juggler– it is in my nature. These days I juggle the tasks related to caring full time for two children and so far those balls have all been in the air. Today though they came crashing down one by one. Ok, so enough with the crappy analogy, let me tell you the story of my day.
To be honest up till now I have been really lucky as things have felt relatively easy. Nina has so far been a little angel. You couldn’t wish for a better baby. At the moment though I think she is going through a growth spurt and the wind seems to be getting worse. Perhaps this is my fault – due to me raiding Amy’s chocolate Easter egg stash? (Chocolate is meant to be a no-no for breastfed babies) Anyway last night she wanted to feed every 3 hours instead of 4 and in between battled with tummy pain. Amy who normally sleeps through the night perfectly was restless, crying a few times and waking twice. Needless to say I was waking every 2 hours and by the morning felt totally exhausted. Starting the day sleep deprived is never a good thing. Craig took the children to see his mom, giving me time to relax. This should have been a good thing, but instead I discovered a whole lot of washing not done by my maid yesterday and so I ended up doing housework in my once-in-a-blue-moon free time.  Children later return home and I make lunch. From then on it started to really go south. After messing with her food, Amy refused to go to sleep for her nap. She screamed for ages. I would have gone to comfort her, but I was comforting and then feeding Nina, who also was crying. Craig saw to Amy and eventually she fell asleep. Nina didn’t. I tried to rest with her and we both got sleepy. Then there was a loud buzzing sound and an army helicopter flew over our house. It sounded as if it was going to land on our roof. Perhaps if it did I would have asked them to whisk me away. Instead it landed in the Pick ‘n Pay parking lot opposite me. I kid you not. I am still not sure why. It happened again an hour later. I gave up on sleep. Then it was bath time, thankfully not my duty but after Craig bathed Nina she was restless again. Normally she sleeps after her bath and this gives me time to go downstairs and cook dinner and spend some quality time with Amy afterwards. Not tonight. From here on, things got really fun. Craig was trying to complete some work but after a few trips by me upstairs to comfort our crying baby while trying to cook a meal and entertain a toddler, he fetched her and rocked her, all the time while trying to work (he too has become a juggler). Barney came to the rescue with Amy. I continued to cook dinner, feeling harassed, getting the timing wrong, using 100 pots and almost burning everything. By the time it was finished I did not feel like eating it. Craig said it was great though. Momentary happiness. Amy ate well. I clean the kitchen. I notice a stain on my top –perhaps Milton is the culprit again as it bleaches fabric? I have a cupboard full of clothes but can count on one hand the clothes that fit me and don’t have stains. I feel doubly stressed now –you see it is the little things that get to me. Nina cries some more. I try and read a story to Amy while now comforting Nina who appears to now be hungry. AGAIN. Craig has given up trying to work. I give up on the story. He takes Amy to bed, while she screams for me to read another story(one I have already read her 3 times today). I feed Nina. I comfort Nina. Her dummy falls out. I have no other clean one handy. Amy starts crying from her room. My heart is being pulled in all directions. My body is tired and my mind starting to lose the plot. I contemplate throwing myself off our balcony. I realize I don’t want to die wearing stained clothing and granny underwear. I cuddle Nina while rocking her in the arm chair and breathe in her baby smell. I know it will be another long night, but it is ok, I can do this. Amy is now asleep. I feel tired and stressed and right now I am ranting on a public forum to anyone out there who will listen, but  you need not worry as deep down I know it will be ok. What else can a juggler do, but pick the balls up from the ground and keep on juggling?