Love sweet love

Well after some prodding from various people I am back in the world of blogging. I planned to fill you in on my account of the past busy few weeks as well as the upcoming 1st birthday party of my daughter, but have decided to leave that for another time. Suffice to say I have been very busy, tired and ill but have never the less had a wonderful time sharing some very special occasions with friends. I am also looking forward to Amy’s Tigger party on Sunday!

The topic that has been on my mind today is relationships. I have just read the beautiful poem on Lailaa’s blog that speaks of new love and it has made me reflect on this some more. My mom’s post and Louise’s comment gives one hope for love in the longterm, but never the less it has to be said that there is nothing quite like the early days of being in love. That awe struck feeling. The butterflies in your tummy. You can’t sleep, can’t eat, all you want to do is be with that person. There is no wonder being in love (lust?) can’t last – it would kill us if it did! Generally over time, love changes, evolves into something else, hopefully something greater, deeper and perhaps less superficial. In my opinion, to be good friends is by far the most important thing in a relationship as this is what sustains you when times get tough. Where passion may fade, friendship will last. But passion, oh, who does not like a good dose of that? I have a friend who despite many admirable suitors, simply cannot commit to a relationship. She has admitted to me that when the ‘in-love’ feeling dies, she moves on. She is addicted to it, but as a result does herself a grave injustice in the long run. I fear she will end up a lonely woman with only her memories of passionate moments to contain her. There is a part of all of us that can associate with that though. I think that is why so many people have affairs. When life gets boring and we see the same person day after day, of course you will be interested when the sexy colleague at the office flirts with you. We all want to be acknowledged. We all want to feel cherished, special, sexy. But no matter how strong the initial feelings, lust eventually fades and love evolves, according to Yeats’s into some ‘lesser thing’. I love this poem, although depressing….

Her Anxiety
William Butler Yeats

Earth in beauty dressed
Awaits returning spring.
All true love must die,
Alter at the best
Into some lesser thing.
Prove that I lie.

Such body lovers have,
Such exacting breath,
That they touch or sigh.
Every touch they give,
Love is nearer death.
Prove that I lie.

My version, is a poem I wrote many, many years ago, although some elements still ring true…

My Anxiety

My anxiety Is that you’ll leave me
Standing in a large, empty room
Naked and vulnerable.

I worry people will mock me,
Poke me, shout at me.
All my secrets auctioned off
On the cyber highway.

My paranoia is that
You’ll move on,
Cross the river to greener pastures
that are perhaps,
Just an illusion.

I fret and toss and turn
In jealous, confused dreams
That leave me drowning
in my own sweat and tears.

I fear that perhaps Yeats is right
And the worst of all
That I shall grow bored
and discard of what we have
Before you do.

Just this week Craig and I had a deep discussion about soul mates and whether or not we feel we are that to each other. My opinion on soulmates is not really in keeping with the norm. It is not a romantic ideal, but rather a more spiritual perspective. If it were a movie, let’s just say it wouldn’t be Disney. There would be no soppy background music or butterflies or rainbows. Being a person’s soul mate in my opinion does not necessarily mean happily ever after. No, my movie would be a drama, because I believe the whole point of life is to love and the greatest gift a soul mate gives is to challenge us – to love, to live and to experience life and ourselves to the fullest. It is not always easy and yes there will be fights, but relationships are the greatest teachers of all. Our soul mate encourages us(actively or passively) to grow, to expand our horizons and to make decisions. This means your soul mate could be your husband, your lover, your divorced husband (yes), someone in the spirit world(that is a whole other blog), a friend or a person of the same sex. As for how or if you will meet them, I believe that fate will show you your soul mate – possibly more than once – but it is up to you and your free will to read the signs and take the plunge to be with them. Otherwise you may see your soul mate on a train/subway/pub/at a party/shop etc and just walk on by, the possibilities lost forever(well, until your next life). You may think I am making this soul mate stuff sound like hard work and well ask if there will be happiness and passion in my verison? – of course, in the beginning. Because even with soul mates, the love shared alters in some way. The main thing is that lessons are learnt, love is experienced and life, well, life moves on…

Tagged as: beautiful, body, fate, happiness, life, love, poem, relationships, sex, soul